The new graduate student who just joined the lab decided to quit, can't take the boss anymore. The controlling pushy asshole dictator boss, who is also brilliant. Even though this should not have affected me, it did, very so much.  

    Being the first new person joined the lab a year ago, it has been difficult to fit in, to join the club or cult, to be one of them. But having no other options, and not other way out, you eventually adapt, because that's the only way to survive. It has excited me to have her sitting next to me, finally some fresh air, some new activity, new perspective. Finally I have a friend to count on and really talk to.

    It pains me to see her going through this, but even more sad to see her emptied desk. It, in a very distractive yet deterministic way, reminds me of all my loss over the past year, all the tears shred while saying goodbyes to people you care and love, yet have to be left behind. It reminds me how far I have come, yet also how lonely my journey has been. The most depressing and disturbing part is that all the decisions  made along the way were made rightfully.  

    Today is a sad night, and tonight is yet another night to say my goodbyes.