I can't stop sniffing the scent left by him. I covered up the limited cloths and blankets that still carry his scents so it won't wear off. And I sniff them when I'm happy, sad, or anxious. It calms me down; it brings us closer. But what's going to happen,when all of it wears off, would my memories all fade off as such, until maybe one day, one day I'll run into the scent again,but can't remember why i like it. //sigh

Six years of hard work, numerous moments of anguish, frustration, exhilaration all mount to this day, this moment. To think that far back and all the anticipation, expectation is difficult, because how I'm feeling now, it's hardly worth it. Would we grow wiser for the next stage? Why do we bother to care, to frustrate if we know this moment, how I'm feeling, is all there is. "THIS IS IT".  It's never the destination, always journey, right? If you didn't cherish all those little moments, focused too much on the final goal, then too bad, this is it..too bad, everything just mounts to this moment that's hardly worth anything. Life is a journey, enjoy while the moment lasts.

I had a fight, with my best friend who is like my sister for the past five years. It brought down to such an emotional ramp, that I felt like in a dumpster. First, I was so angry and sad that I can't actually cry, just feel like stuffed inside, and that any attempt to describe my feeling is simply impossible. Then I was able to call my parents from the other side of the globe to calm myself down.

Why do we fight? Why does truth seem so clear to you, while others think you are twisted. Maybe truth is like an object, and we are like funny mirrors. No matter how much we think we got it right, we don't. We all resonate with different aspects of truth, exaggerate part of it, and ignore the other part, in the end, everyone's truth is altered, twisted to fit his or her own brain. Maybe a wiser person is someone who can see the truth not through his eys,but through his heart. I'm determined to be happy and successful no matter what. No one, nothing can stop me. 

Just like, he left

left me with all my emptiness,

after four years of togetherness,

we are finally apart.

what were I to say.

my sweet boy.

but to weep and hide

my ached and sour heart